As I SEE It
by
Thom Gossom, Jr.
Even when you vow not to watch, read, or participate in any of the daily, slimy, sickening media firestorm surrounding Tiger Woods, it catches up to you. Do a cursory flip through the channels on any television, and there’s a Tiger story with the all too happy commentators, not talking about his golf game. Last week, it caught up to me in the barbershop.
“This crying bimbo talking about she wants an apology,” my barber spat, as I walked in for my customary, ‘before opening time’ appointment. He was glued to a Tiger Woods sideshow on the flat screen and enjoying it.
Tiger’s televised confession was close to a month ago but it didn’t stop my barber from taking full time outs of as much as five minutes from cutting my hair to watch the skinny blonde on the gossipy, entertainment show. She interviewed a porn star that said she had sex with Tiger.
Tiger’s travails have rated higher than any other reality show in Primetime. In the ongoing soap opera my barber could name all the major stars, including the two who were front and center that morning, Attorney Gloria Allred and her porn star client who felt Tiger was wrong for doing to her for free what she usually gets paid for. Both she and her attorney demanded an apology from Tiger. Apparently he took advantage of her when she was off- the-clock. They both insisted she did not want money, just a face-to-face apology. So why does she need a lawyer?
When he tired of the “crying bimbo,” story my barber flipped to a sports station. I was still waiting for him to start on my head but he was deeply into the confession and apology. The sports talking heads blabbered about the company Accenture, and their decision to drop Tiger as a sponsor, because he did not represent their values. Who?
I made a decision way back in November when Tiger had his accident to tune out the story. It didn’t and doesn’t have anything to do with my life.
My interest is, when will Tiger come back and thrill us on the golf course? I never cared about golf before Tiger. I’m not alone. There are millions of us. Before my Mom died, she was a Tiger fan, and sports were last on her list of things to get excited about.
On the golf course Tiger ramps up the drama. Have you watched a tournament since he hasn’t been playing? Not me. It’s boring. Michelson, Olgilvy, Duvall and the others all seem so ordinary, and so boring when Tiger’s not in the field. Tiger challenges their manhood. He makes them exciting. He makes them play better. They all want to be the one who charges into that welcoming crowd on the eighteenth hole on Sunday number one on the leader board and hopefully, having spanked Tiger. I’m sorry, but without Tiger, its just golf.
I never needed a sports hero. I played sports myself. Nor have I needed a role model. My Dad has taken care of that. What I need is for Tiger to get himself together, come back, and rescue the golf world from it’s own boredom.
When he wins, I’m sure my barber will catch it on the tube, so will I.
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